Bridport lockdown diary - Day 56

Day 56.

The cast:
Me
'The undertaker' (husband)

It was naive to imagine that during this lockdown I would be immune to addiction. What starts out, of course, as fairly innocent can so easily embrace you like the tentacles of poisonous ivy and before you know it, wham! you are hooked.

I first started using hand made soap about day 10 of lockdown as my usual brand was impossible to get through my local dealer. Who would have thought that a combination of mud and peppermint from Devon would prove my undoing? I asked 'The undertaker' if he felt the same way. Turns out he does. After a short debate we concluded that once all this is over (if ever) we shall only purchase high quality luxury soap. Life is too short, at the end of the day, to settle for anything less.

Well, yesterday's blog in which I flippantly mentioned my aversion to bungalows caused a slight rumpus and hoots of indignation, and quite rightly so. It was rude and unnecessary, albeit tongue in cheek. In future I shall stay on safe subjects such as sex, religion, politics, and how I don't mind listening to how astoundingly bright other peoples children are, or how unbelievably clever their dog, cat, hamster etc is. Or, how they never gain weight, surely the most annoying of comments ever on this planet? Apart from their partner would never look at anyone else, and so on and so forth...

'The undertaker' was called out twice last night so he was a little weary this morning. I mentioned paint colours to him and he replied 'whatever you would like' which was music to my ears (as it would be to any woman's I suspect). I emailed my local paint centre and the chap phoned me back immediately, which was an absolute miracle by all accounts. I am thrilled that business is booming for them, I wouldn't dream of bestowing my patronage onto B&Q or any of the other giants. No, shop local, support local, stay local. A roundabout polite way of saying stay close to home unless absolutely necessary. Sadly the government guidelines on getting the country slowly back on its feet have opened up a floodgate of people thinking they are now free to travel, anywhere, any distance. The general consensus here in Dorset is; stay put unless absolutely necessary. We don't want you here just yet! The same as you wouldn't want us descending on you simply because we were bored at home. For God's sake reign your selfishness in, if not for yourself then for the health of others. If you feel so restless then perhaps it's time to ask yourself  'what am I missing out on here that I assume I can find elsewhere?' Now is not the time to take a jaunt for no other reason than your life is devoid of meaning.

I am disappointed to learn that 'Office darling' has been called back to work, just as the coast is clear for me to join her for a walk (keeping our two metre distance of course). However it comes to mind (I refer back to my biting comments above), that the bloody coast won't be clear...

I braved stepping out to the washing line today as 'The undertaker' assured me that Mr Ratty was probably just 'passing through'. There I was happily minding my own business when one hell of a shite hawk dive bombed me whilst depositing its breakfast all over my beautiful clean sheets.

Words failed me... (Not)


Comments

Grouse said…
Oh! Darling!!

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