Talk To The Snail

I'm currently turning the pages of Talk to the Snail, Ten Commandments for Understanding the French by the best selling author Stephen Clarke. His Lordship has half an eye on the glamorous French weathergirl and the other half on his glamorous wife (moi). One ear is cocked in my direction whilst I recite some amusing anecdotes. Today according to reports we can expect temperatures of 18 degrees, hmmm not bad for January. She then very gracefully turns her attention to Blighty where they seem to be suffering some rather severe storms at present.

By this stage I'm howling with laughter and practically falling off my chair. His Lordship looks vaguely surprised at my level of mirth qnd reprimands me. "Just because you are basking in warm sunshine down in the South of France whilst your fellow countrymen are shivering and quivering does not give you the right to snigger". I look fleetingly up from my book. "Quoi" ?

I read aloud another riveting fact on what makes the French so charmingly different to us Brits. Look don't get me wrong, I of all people understand exactly how to talk to a Snail. Why, I positively welcome them to Le Chateau. Here's a little chap above happily moving about his business enjoying the original 19th century tiles gracing the hallways and elegant rooms.

But Oh, to be blessed with such wit...............