Blogging from Bridport - Day 31

Day 31

The cast:
Anyone who's still standing.

On entering the sitting room this morning I notice chocolate on 'The undertakers' side of the sofa, my super duper grey velvet sofa. MY sofa. I was in the middle of berating him for this when he reminded me that we had swapped sides just to spice up our nightly binge on Netflix. Feeling suitably chastened I scurried around tidying up the nuclear fallout of wrappers, bottles and my discarded socks.

Usually on a Saturday life in 2020 BC would consist of the alarm clock going off at 6am ready for the Saturday market along our street. 'Who's already out there'? we would say. Now it's 'there's no-one  there!' and then we wonder why we're still surprised by this non event.

Yesterday as some of you may recall I visited that most splendid of emporiums Morrisons, (as yet the Royal seal of approval has not been granted) I had seized a mega pack of Fairy Liquid. 'Irresistible scent, BETTER PRICE' it had screamed. In my haste I had not seen that it was claiming to smell like an 'apple orchard'.Now let me tell you that in a previous life I spent many weeks working in  apple orchards, believe you me, if any of these had smelt anything like this I would have declared them to be health hazards!  The worst of this is that it's going to last for weeks and weeks and weeks. I could still be squeezing it long after lock down is lifted. 'Not your finest buy' 'The undertaker' has the nerve to comment.

Oh what a dull old grey day it is today.

I phone an Aunt who is in her late 80's and caring for her husband who is 90 years old with dementia. 'Just phoning to make sure you're not going crazy' I say. She assures me that they are but that she has devised a way to differentiate between the weekdays and the weekends. At weekends they have large gin and tonics, as opposed to the weekday whisky and sodas. 'So enterprising' I say. Their son who shops for them has announced that it's a three weekly shop now rather than a weekly as entering a supermarket is a 'no go zone' for him. Unpacking had been 'utterly exhausting' she confided. They are in their 6th week of confinement...

No walk today, the air has a chilly feel about it and enthusiasm is lacking. Who are all these people dressed in jolly holiday clothing that I have never clapped eyes on before walking around in family groups? My neighbour has noticed this too. Odd. We did however scuttle round the garden quickly, the apple blossom has never been so prolific or is it that we now notice so much more now that our horizons have been so reduced?

Am I the only person in the entire universe that hasn't made Banana Bread? What's the obsession with it anyway and who are all these people with out of date banana's? Put them in your blender for breakfast and get healthy!(Take some advice from one who knows...)

For the sake of clarity today's photograph is a sick joke. It's quite obviously been photo shopped and can you imagine us possessing an empty bottle of a brand of gin that no-ones ever heard of? Opihr spiced gin, I ask you. What you can find for the sake of art in a neighbours empties. (ONLY KIDDING) Jeeeez.

PS: Captain Tom Moore has now raised over 23 million pounds for the NHS. Most people applaud this heroic selfless gesture, he has captured the hearts across the nation. However, there are people out there who are so cynical that they even turn this act into a political back stabbing exercise. If you are one of those people please un-follow me right now. You will never be my friend.

Adios, au-revoir, auf wiedersehen, addio, hwyl-fawr, tchau, dasvidaniya.