Lockdown from Bridport - Part 3 - Day 32

I can't recall the last time I laughed so much as I did this morning with my Mother. Someone had prompted us to recall the glorious 70's and to be honest comparing those days to now, we had an absolute blast. Life was such FUN. There were no complications in those days, if there were, they were of your own making. One telephone line for each household meant if you were out you couldn't be contacted and if you were on the phone it meant you were busy talking to someone else. If you were really desperate to contact someone you could try knocking on their front door or failing that write a letter. Being unobtainable or uncontactable meant you had a) more freedom b) more time to concentrate on having fun. Anyway, the point being we laughed solidly for at least ten minutes. 

Someone suggested yesterday that I write a second book but this time make it a funny one. 'I thought the last one was' I said but that made them laugh in response. 'I don't do funny' I said scowling. There is so little to laugh about these days and if you did break out into laughter in, say for example, a supermarket, (as its the only place you can go) you would be glared at or thought of as unstable. I don't know about you but I am thoroughly enjoying swearing under my mask without being thought of as offensive. 

This morning I had cause to go to the shop as someone wanted to return something (yawn) which bought my earnings to zilch, zero, sweet FA. Because the sun was shining I locked up pronto not wasting a single further nanosecond of my precious time. Down to the supermarket then, Friday, (My shopping day), the anticipation of cruising the aisles bought a tiny palpitation of excitement to my otherwise uneventful day. Because I am, obviously, such an easy target, ie; a sucker for a bargain, I scooped up the last super soft white bath mat, which I felt sure was going to improve my quality of life no end. 

Once I had got home and unloaded all of the bottles into the wine rack I felt the overwhelming desire for an egg mayonnaise sandwich, which, alarmingly, I get quite often. I thought 'sod it' and helped myself to a Tunnocks caramel wafer biscuit. Did you know that more than 6,000,000 of these biscuits are made and sold every week? I'm going to write to the sales department and ask if that number has gone up or down since the pandemic. I would have thought sales would have gone through the roof, but who who can tell?

Talking about going through the roof... As I type I have now been hanging onto the phone to Yorkshire Gas and Power for precisely 59 minutes. A voice keeps apologising for the wait and urges me to press one to leave a voicemail. Would I trust  myself to leave a voice mail, the simple answer is no! Nor am I prepared to let them get away with the most atrocious service on the planet. These robbers have fleeced me out of so much money now it's way beyond my remaining calm. I sit and bide my time. I listen to the muzak, throw another log onto the fire and gaze out of the window at the people passing by. A minute later the phone goes dead and I am cut off. Should have left a bloody voicemail after all!